Wednesday 25 March 2015

You need nerves of steel to eat here!

Write what you think the family might have been saying when they were having their picnic on top of the hill.

What changed and how did the family react?

41 comments:

  1. i think the dad is saying that the ground is shaking the table cloth is sinking down and the food i think the mum is going to say it is a earth quake.From jippan and the little boy is saying it is a iron man and every body is going to run to the car and not look back because it might go towards them and went home.

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  2. I think the dad was feeling strange movements on the ground and the iron man popped out his big hand.

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    1. Be more descriptive Isaac. You need to explain exactly what happened. How did the family react? What happened to their picnic?

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  3. I think the family will say what a lovely day springtime is in the air , the fresh green grass came to town the apple blossom are in the trees flowers in different coulors red , blue , purple and lots more coulors also the birds were singing sweetly and this is the perfect place to picnic relaxing peacefully in the blanket we have roast chicken tomatoes cheese sandwiches milk we have got everything now let's eat peacefully

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    1. But what changed Yumna? Then explain what the family did.

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  4. When they were having there picnic there were saying "What a lovely hill we might enjoy having are picnic there instead of the sea then I will think we go surfing or look at the sea well chop chop we won't have enough time to do all of the stuff".so this is too hard to walk why don't we park right onto the top of the hill" said the mother.there ,parked right as you wanted it" said the father. "I'm so hungry and I can't stop jumping" said the little brother calm down your farther will make up the picnic so you children can have your lunch"said the mother."done" said the farther."yay" said the little boy and girl. "Now children have your food eat it munch if you want more just tell me"said the mother." Well that's funny"said the farther. "What is"said the mother. I felt an earthquake to be continued.

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    1. Great start Abdi. Remember to use descriptive vocabulary and a simile when you continue your story. Also don't use so much dialogue.

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    2. Then the mother said "probably an earthquake in japan","an earthquake in japan"cried the little boy. Then the father explained what a earthquake In a country that your next to and that it shakes the build and ground. Then then the mother said" what is that crack in the middle of our blanket and now it's sucking it all this is going to be the worst. Picnic ever"... To be coutuined

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    3. Keep going Abdi, I want to know what was sucked into the ground and what the family did next.

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    4. Then the Iron man hand stood up his hand and almost and pick up the little boy and the little boy said"Mum,Dad is this actually a hill because it's not and I think that i hurt my back and I can't get down and I'm sweating because I'm scared and Mum please help me".then the mum got her basket and threw it to the Iron Mans head then and they all ran to car and drove really fast and went all the way back and the mother said"So any of you guys wanna go surfing or even look at the sea"and ten they all said"NO.

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  5. The dad could say " what a lovely day and sung day to have a picnic .i could feel something under are feet .
    it might be a earthquake in Japan we never know if we are right or wrong"said the mum and dad.and cracks aped up the sky and it was the iron man and his legs shook up with his iron head and aso the rest of his iron body .

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  6. The dad might have said "look at the sun shining the daffodils blooming that's all because it's spring".Mum could of said"the roses are growing the daffodils are out the most important thing is that we are relaxed and having fun".The little boy could of said "the trees are in the right position I am in the right position were all in the right position awesome time to play awesome.The little girl might say "there are red roses yellow daffodils and a blue pond ,let me go and head to the beautiful blue pond.

    Then the father went to boil water then he suddenly saw the ground shake and told it to mum she said it's probably just an earthquake in Japan.Then the iron man put his colossal hand and the whole family ran to there car and didn't look back.

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  7. I think the said what a splendid day the family was happy with joy

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  8. One sunny bright day a family went on a picnic hogarths dad said" what a marvilous day to come out hogarths dad was having a lovely time wile hogarths mum was. Thought of all the bad stuff that will happen to us we ate a green apple .then suddenly there was a shake on the floor and our picnic towel had sinked hogarths dad said" blame my wife because she was the one that was thinking of all the bad stuff that could happen then hogarths mum said run for your life because the hole was getting bigger

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  9. I think the mum might be saying wot a lovliy day having a picnic then I think the dad might be saying wot a beautiful day with the family.Next I think the sister might be saying wot a day in spring having hour lunch on top of the hill.Now I think the brother might be saying look at spring time it is hear when the seagulls are playing in the sky shooting new fresh grass wot a beautiful day siting in the spring also siting on top of the hill were the iron was buried .

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  10. What a lovely day "said the mum ,"ohh yes indeed replayed the Dad. "Ohh I know where we should eat there they wanted to eat where the Iron man was buried . While they were having there lunch with boiled eggs and. Chicken an giant iron hand emmerhed . The table cloth ended up In the iron man head the mother screamed








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    1. I think you mean emerged Ashraf. Great start, now tell me what happened next.

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  11. The mum could have said " what a wonderful picnic spot with the apple blossom in the trees it makes me feel like I'm in a hot winter,but sting is like fall and summer fused."Explained the mother. The farther could say "best springing on this chicken get it because spring is a season and chicken has seasoning those two fused makes springing ." Laughed the dad " yeah yeah your jokes are not funny dad this is a real joke why did the chicken cross the road to see if she got flattened would her eggs carry her." Cried the boy to be continued

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  12. I thnik the mum said maybe it is a earthquake a Japan. And the dad said mabe it is someone cutting wood then then Iron man's hand came out of the hill and the family ran into the car without looking back.

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  13. The dad said what a wonderful day all the trees are all buitifull the grass are all straight as a stick. I think the mum said I just feel like to sleep in the sweet green grass and relax in the berning sun and drink a cup of tea. The Hogarth is thinking what a sunny day to go to the park and play a game. The little girl I feel wonderful of joy that i Nerny slep when the sun point at me.

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  14. I think they was happy about the nice day they thought they was alright. They was eating some nice. Food they had pie it was a lovely day for them daffodils it was spring for the family the dad might of said " what a good day," the sun is shining.They was sitting in the country side the grass is green as it can ever get.The trees is very green like the grass.the wind soft leafs are falling out of out of the trees.The was relaxing when they almost ate all there food they looked at the sky.Sitting they was thinking they saw animals.They saw cows,chickens and sheep the father made boiled water they made tea for the mum they was enjoying the day.Having fun it was one of the best of the life nothing can stop them.It was very quite

    Dad said "I feel something mum," mum said"earthquake then they hoped in the car and they never look back.

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  15. One day a family came for a picnic they were very exisited to go picning."What a buteful day for a picnic''said the dad."daddy I'm hungry what is in the picnic bag for this spring".said the little girl."we'll I hoping rousted chicken that is my favrite food yum yum yum that always make me happy."And that is what they all was going to do"said the mum finishing her story."that's funny the ground shook"said the little boy "me too"the little girl ok we all felt the ground shake look a crack in the ground aaa run for your life.

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  16. Spring time came and everybody was struggling to remove their heavy coat and the sun was shining in the air and the daffodils and cherry blossom parts were blooming in the air.Some people were sweaty so they had ice cream until a family of four came.The family went on the hill where the iron man was buried and layed there blanket and they got out the picnic basket.The family was setting out the picnic and there was so much food there.There were roast chicken,cheese,tomtoes,loaf,full boiled eggs and sandwiches.There were even a dairy called milk after setting the picnic the family were all munching on there delicious sandwiches and the dad was boiling water for tea.All of a sudden a crack appeared then a great iron hand appeared from the crack and a great iron head appeared from the crack as well with the picnic on the iron man's head the crack nearly got the boy but he managed to escape the family drove their car without looking at the iron man.

    The farmers groaned about how the iron man was free then the iron man went to town after that he went somewhere to sleep
    Then the farmers had a plan it was call the army to throw bombs at him but hogarth had a plan it was to take him to the scrap yard then hogath told the farmers and they agreed but if it didn't work they would call the army so hogarth banged a stone to a rock and the iron man woke.Then hogarth said mr iron man were sorry we trapped you but we promise to give you all the metal you want and he did and hogarth visited the iron man for few days and he played games with him.

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    1. Wow, David what a great effort! Now tell me a bit about what happened in the scrapyard. Concentrate on punctating your work properly. That means using full stops, commas, question and exclamation marks. Remember to add detail, think of all those delicious different types of metal!

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  17. Spring time now the people come to the hill.To picnic the dad said "is spring time come on to the hill". Was the Iron Man is buried. We eat like some sanwiches,milk and biscuits.And the family see a the Iron Man hand. The family is jumping to the car THAT SO TERREFIND.And the hogharth she have the solution 1.take him to the scrapyard.And the lost one is said to the Iron Man "you can eat all the metal do you want it".

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  18. Oh what a butafull day,the sun is out and this lunch is tasting good.this hill is not too bumpy,it's just whrite I'm so happy I can just,realacs oh what's that at the botoom of the hill .oh the body is coming up its a monster, come on dad cill him.yu destroy"meatl!at work but its not sun

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  19. One lovely spring day a family went out for a picnic and they all said what a lovely sunny day I could stay here for the whole day eating roast chicken and fried eggs milk carrots apples water a old iron kettle tamaots plates for forks knifes and spoons and the blacket and a picnic backets. But suddly there was a crack and the ground shaking a deep whole all the food started to sink a hand began to come out it was the irons mans hand he grabbed Hogarth the whole family ran into the car and drove of with out looking back but they relies Hogarth was left behind they still carried on driving went into the house and locked the Hogarth ran home safely knocked on the door and they said who is it and he answered Hogarth and they said to Hogarth welcome back home.

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    1. Great work Jada, can you carry on and explain what happened next. Try to use full stops next time.

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    2. the dad went back out side and trid to shout the iron man but he was made out of metle how could you shout a iron man besacuse he cant die.

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  20. one day an family of four were having a picnic on the hill side. And the flor started to shaking. And a big Iron mans hand came out of the ground the hole got bigar and bigar. dad siad we are going to die. Of cord we are siad mum. Hogarth siad run as Faust as you can be for we die. Mum and dad run for there lives I will fire this iron m an soll go and do not wory adout me ok hogarth do not kille your self hogarth. do not wory about me mum. I will be ok mum so just stay in the car ok Hogarth. Siad mum.

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  21. There was a family they was for going picnic it was spring they thought they was alright,it was one of the best days of there life they had nice food for they had pie one of the best of there life nothing can stop them they saw the grass as green as it can get the trees daffodils

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  22. I think they might be saying let's have some glorious pie said dad lets have some tea said mum can I have a apple dad. Said the children sweetly of course you can said dad. I thought the grown shook. How can it be we don't get earthquakes around here.I want to go home yelled the child the a huge hand near me help help.

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  23. I think they might be saying let's have some tea and a chicken leg said mum yes please said the children I'm going to lie under this apple blossom tree well that's funny the ground erupted said dad don't be ridiculous we don't get earthquake around here . Well maybe he's not lying I felt it to .to be continue

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  24. We wet to ha the on a dune d the kids wet to run a RNA the sr a big robot we ran ba to mum and dad wit you to stink
    We sor the big root wot the mum wet pllw ye gow ye gow ye gow the he is go go go the dad Wozniak looking whe gi the
    In he co tus we lid we roo it fed hem we chat hem we got we got lod the fu mis he got a tif it all,

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  25. One day a family came to the hill were the Iron Man was buried. They set out a picnic and they had curry chicken,apple pie and some milk. The mother and father said "What a lovely day it is the sun is shining and the fresh grass arriving". The boy and the little girl was chatting to each other. Then they all began to eat there food in peace. Suddenly,the shook and the mum said "What's happening". Then the dad said "It's probably an earthquake in Japan". "You might be right but look"! the two children's said. The family were shocked. "WHAT IS THAT??????!!!!!!!!"they all cried. They ran to there car without looking back they drove as fast as they could to get to there home. When they reached there house they slammed the door shut,locked it and ran to there bedroom. Then the farmers were so angry that the Iron Man had returned. They were planning to call the army but Hogarth had another idea he told the farmers his plan but they said that if it went wrong they would dial the army. Hogarth said to the Iron Man "Were sorry we trapped you, we promise it won't happen again I got a place for you to eat all the food you want, follow me". So the Iron Man followed Hogarth to the scrapyard, there were chrome wheels,truck,double decker buses,cars,vans,windows,whiteboards and all those stuff.
    The End

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  26. I think the dad might say "lay the picnic cloth" and the mum might put the picniƧ cloth on the green hill were new green lush grass are covered over the iron man. Then the dad will say " did you feel that the ground was shaking" and then the mum will say "probably it's an earthquake in Japan and the boy will say" an earth quake in japan how could that be."

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  27. I think the mum is saying"finally we can just relax because we the iron man was hire nobody had peace at all and he was driving me crazy". I think that the dad is saying "yes I finally can just go to bed after this pinic". I think the little siter " starting jumping in joy.

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  28. There was a family that came to the hill to have a splendid picnic. The mother said what a sunny day and it is too stiff. The brother said so no picnic at the sea side because I was hoping we could swim after our lunch but if were at the top of the hill I would break my ankle I would be at hospital and you guys would swim so it would be better at the seaside said the little boy. The mother said now now you will never break your ankle and besides your already a big boy and you are fit and healthy and besides we will never leave you

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  29. The dad might say " what a lovely day to have a picnic." Did you feel is shaking. The mum might say "probably it's an earthquake in japan.

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  30. One Day a family wet for a picnic so They oft the hill have den there for Lon so the mum was like the chiming and the cheese the eggs Iron man Reech his um .

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